I realized that in my original post, I left out a few things that I will probably want to remember. I hadn't posted the birth story to this blog, either, so here it is!
Holden Andrew was born at 8:48pm on July, 7 2009. (7,8,9!) He weighed 6lbs and 13 oz and measured 20.5 inches long. Our hospital determined that he was actually 4-5 weeks early, even though my EDD was July 29.
Wednesday morning I was having what I thought to be Braxton Hicks contractions around 11:30am. I had felt that sort of thing before and brushed it off before going to lunch with two of my friends, Misty and Jaclyn. Right as our meal was ending (and ironically as I was telling my friends I hadn't had any labor signs) I felt an urgent need to stand up. That one was not too comfortable!
I made my way to the library to pick up a book and then as I was laying in bed attempting to read, my contractions started to feel like the real deal. Still reluctant to call my doctor because it was so early, I drew myself a bubble bath. When that wasn't enough, I tried a heating pad. No dice. When I was almost in tears I decided finally to call my husband and mom. He asked if he should come home from work- I reluctantly said yes and agreed to call my OB. Around 4pm a dear friend of mine came to take me to the hospital. I was admitted and when they checked, I was 4cm dilated and 85% effaced, up from 1cm last Tuesday!
Family was called and we waited around, checking vitals and waiting to see which doctor was on call. My OB was not on call that day, but I wasn't too worried. My husband finally arrived, and at that point, the contractions were hitting my pain threshold. At 5cm, I asked for the epidural (which I had planned on doing) and the anesthesiologist arrived within half an hour. I went through one really painful contraction right as she was doing the epidural. That was really tough to sit still through. But when you think about it... paralyzed vs. not paralyzed?? Hmmm..
The epidural did not hurt at all. They kept telling me it was going to burn. I kept waiting for the pain to hit. Nothing. I will say, though that around this time, I started shaking involuntarily. Originally, I attributed it to being cold- the hospital was chilly and the fluid of the epidural going down my spine was cold. But even after I was given a blanket, they continued. The nurse told me that it was due to hormones. They are preeeeetty powerful! Besides that, I think the most annoying thing about being in the hospital was the blood pressure cuff. I had before been worried about the IV. Back when I had my wisdom teeth taken out, the IV they gave me was in my hand, and it caused me some pain before the anesthesia knocked me out. Anyway, the hospital-grade blood pressure cuffs hurt they squeeze so hard. The minute everyone had calmed down after the baby was born, I ripped that thing off!
Another thing about epidurals- many women don't like the aspect of not being able to move. I will say that there is nothing like being able to feel when to push (aka au naturale) HOWEVER. I wasn't so numb that my legs felt like stone. They didn't even feel like they were "asleep". I just simply couldn't feel the pain. The medication actually wore off VERY soon after delivery, and I had to be given a bit of novacaine when pushing, because I could still somewhat feel down there.
Within 15 minutes my blood pressure was decreasing (it had been high) and Alex asked if I had had a contraction recently... The nurse said, "Oh yeah, she just had one!" And pointed to the monitor. We both looked at each other, astonished. I'm not knocking natural births, but... Modern medicine is a beautiful thing, people!
The doctor on call finally arrived, and around 6:30pm the decision was made to break my water. Pitocin was administered, and shortly after 8pm, I was ready to push! Holden's heartbeat was steady the whole time. They had a monitor around my lap to measure it during labor.
The nurse told me that it was going to feel like my butt was going to explode. A less-than-pleasant analogy, no? Pushing was a whole different experience all-together. Although I was only doing it for 45 minutes max, I felt like I would be pushing forever. The nurse encouraged me to do two, long, hard pushes back-to-back, but after a while I could not catch my breath between. The doctor said, "Let her breathe!" and I was given a little break. With the encouragement of Alex and my mom, (each held one of my feet), they could eventually see his dark hair and then out he came!
They wiped him off and laid him on my chest. It was definitely not a "bonding" moment like I had expected it to be. I couldn't even cry. All I could do was stare in awe at this little squirmy creature that had lived in my body for 9 months. He was amazing. And I was relieved.
Afterwards, I pretty much was able to hop up and walk around and do whatever, with little pain. Everyone was pretty amazed. I was lucky, though...I got away with only a small labial tear. I felt so light, I couldn't help but want to explore this new freedom!
After performing several tests, the doctors determined that Holden was not only premature (one nurse said it could have been up to 5 weeks- which later we dismissed because my OB would have caught that in the ultrasound) but he was jaundiced. They put him under "the lights" (basically a mini baby tanning bed) for 24 hours in order to get his bilirubin levels down. We were pretty scared, considering the lactation consultant told us that she'd "seen kids have to come back in and get a feeding tube down their throats". This woman pissed me off to no end. Just because Holden wasn't getting the hang of breastfeeding quite yet did not mean he was going to deteriorate. He was eating from a bottle just fine.
I continued to try to breastfeed him and became very frustrated, especially since we had had at least 10 nurses in and out and some attempting to force him to do so. I am of the mindset that you shouldn't force anything. Eventually Holden was able to breastfeed. It just took him a bit of time. So just a word of advice- don't give up! And don't let other people's opinions get the best of you! You know your body best. Have faith in it and your baby.
Also, apparently you aren't supposed to look at other babies in the nursery. Once, when we came back in to feed Holden, we had mistaken another baby for Holden, thinking the nurse had taken him out and set him in his cart already. As we were bent over him, we realized it wasn't him but before we could move the nurse rudely says "Don't look at the other babies". Wow, excuse us! That incident sort of rubbed me the wrong way. I would not have got up in arms had anyone looked at Holden!
Looking back, giving birth is unlike any other sensation I have ever experienced. It is really strange to feel that kind of pressure. I felt as though I was going to be pushing forever, and almost felt like passing out in between pushes. But within half an hour the excited encouragement of Alex and my mom (one on each leg, ha) lead me to push our little guy into the world! There is no getting over how wonderful and beautiful the process of life is!
So, helpful details about labor:
*Have your hospital bag ready early! You could have a surprise birth like me and although the hospital provides the essentials, it is so much nicer to have your own things.
*Pack an extra going home outfit for yourself and DH. We ended up spending more nights in the hospital than we expected.
*Don't expect everything to go according to your birth-plan. It won't. You will be much more relaxed if you go into it with an open mind.
*A Boppy is a breastfeeding mom's dream. Even my little 6 pounder got heavy to carry!
*If you are new at breastfeeding, just beware it will take awhile to learn, both for you and your little one. Especially if they are premature, don't expect it to be this magical "click". It takes practice and effort.
*Always always trust your body. Don't ever do anything you don't want to do. Make your opinions and preferences known to the hospital staff. We probably had 15 different nurses, and they will all tell you something different. Respect their professional insight, but only you know what's best for you.
*Bring your own underwear and pads! I'm not sure about other hospitals, but their sanitary pads did not have wings and were HUGE. I was really glad to have at least brought my Always in my hospital bag. The mesh underwear are really awkward. Just my opinion.
*Exercise and eat well in your pregnancy. I honestly don't believe I would have had it so easy had I not have swam so much!
*Get all the help you can get with your newborn when you are at the hospital...after that, it's all you! The staff at Mercy were all unbelievably helpful. We were so happy with the quality of care and service we recieved.
*Labor & delivery is 90% mentality. Stressing yourself out will only elevate your blood pressure and make it more stressful on your baby. Remember that in the end, you will forget about any discomfort when you see that little angel in your arms!!
